I'm pants shitting drunk right now
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
