I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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