Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Let's paint friendship bongs
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
