even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
