Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
