Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
