dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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