Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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