so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
