idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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