New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
