Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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