My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
