so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
