I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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