One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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