Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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