Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
