UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
