Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
