So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
