i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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