You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
