Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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