Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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