Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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