You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
