We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
