We're facebook friends in real life
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
