My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
