okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
