Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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