Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dignity is for republicans.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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