They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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