A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So much Jack, so little girl.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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