my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
