i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
