you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
