Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
