We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
