id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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