Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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