I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
