I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
