her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
