So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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