yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
