operation have a gay friend backfired
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
