I only kidnapped one of them. chill
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
