So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize