$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize