A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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