If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
