Im at strip club and am horny
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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